So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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