I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
