was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
