it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
