Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
