K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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