We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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