piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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