come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
