its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
