so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
