My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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