Sry I called you an 8
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
