so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
