Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
