K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
