it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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