I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
