windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
