Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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