He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
