Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
