you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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