Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
