Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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