We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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