Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize