I wish life had little blips of pornography
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
