I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
