Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
