the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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