thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
