This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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