Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He shit in the fireplace
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