I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
