My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
