On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
