ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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