After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
