some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
