1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
