Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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