im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
