The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
