Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
