I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
