Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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