ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
