p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
operation harelip BJ is a go
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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