there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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