I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Holy sore nipples Batman
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
