Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
