so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
