I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
