Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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