So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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