We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
