Its about making memories worth repressing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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