omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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