Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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