Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
