Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize