I've blown a few things in my day
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
