I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
