After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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