that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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