He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
