i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
