1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
