I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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