im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
