I hate your face
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
