It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
