I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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